Written by Jonathan Wojcik


  Today I shall review the first of several Halloween greeting cards I've found to be interesting and/or comical for one reason or another. Our first card comes to us from Target:

  Right off the bat, this card pulls no punches with an apparently boneless and monstrously endowed young woman entertaining a gaggle of thugs, monsters and pirates with the art of sensual pole dancing, plucking her left ocular orb from its socket to the delight of all. For a band of supernatural abominations and criminals, it's rather surprising how much restraint these gentlemen are showing...they seem to conduct themselves more respectfully than the average human does in such an establishment.

  In the card's interior, the lady has proceeded to remove one of her upper appendages, prompting an excited Frankenstein's Monster to demand she push this automutilation to its absolute limit; a prospect his peers celebrate with eager anticipation. Just how far do they expect her to go? For that matter, who and what is she? A ghoul? A vampire? A mortal woman under some bizarre self-dismembering sexual trance? There are some pretty chilling questions here. Chilling, charmingly drawn questions. There was also a sound chip, which did not activate.

I give this card a nine out of ten for its attractively rough, colorful artwork and the macabre intrigue of its multi layered, morbidly erotic mysteries.

   UPDATE: as photographed and sent me by my friend Julie, it looks like the same artist has illustrated the same joke more than once, with only minor differences. Clearly there are deeper and darker forces at work here than we ever imagined.

Browse Halloween 2011: