Written by Jonathan Wojcik

October 21: Miscellaneous Greeting Cards!

   Since September I've reviewed a handful of quirky Halloween greeting cards, but there were many I just didn't have a whole lot to say about - at least not anything I thought was funny. Some cards were just nothing more or less than kinda neat, and we're going to go over those today!

   Our first card is nothing more than a big, staring eyeball with cute little purple feet and a lock of hair. You know how I love eyeball creatures, which I personally define as any creature whose head or body is almost entirely and prominently eyeball. The inside of the card says something like "Eye wish you a happy Halloween" or a similar ocular pun.

   This other little eyeball monster has more of a complete body, and a mouth not unlike Target's eyeball guy. He's not quite as adorable as that one, but pretty freaking adorable, especially with his little hat! Inside says "Eye do! Eye do!" You can never have too many eyeball puns delivered directly from ambulatory eyeball creatures.

   This one's interior just says "trigger treat!" Which is a shame, because the arthropoid monster has clearly enough eyeball going on for another eyeball pun.

   This extremely cute and card boasts a mummy on the outside...

   ...but open it up, and the mummy is revealed to have a DEAD SKELETON inside! There's a worm coming out of him and everything, probably digesting the last scrap of brain tissue in our friend's hollow skull.

   Another card with an eye-hole gimmick is this friendly, weathered looking skull and crossbones...

   Unfolded, the skull becomes an entire warning sign, one eyeball hanging in place and the other apparently rolling away from our skull buddy's sockets! Pretty threatening I guess, if it's implying that the same fate will befall persistent trespassers.

   A World Market item I decided to save for this post, this cool pop-up card contains a whole three dimensional zombie apocalypse with all the classic patterns of cartoon zombie decay; exposed brains, bite marks, missing or dangling eyes, and of course, green-tinted skin! I really wish some modern film zombies exhibited these traits, I think they're still legitimately cool.

   Finally, we've got this awesome popup card with an assortment of completely original monsters! The totally abstract little blue guy on the right is a contender for my favorite, but much can be said for the two headed worm threaded through the zombie guy and the big, black puddle with eyeballs (there's a second small eye behind the "Happy Halloween") that I'm going to pretend is a Shoggoth.

Halloween is coming up fast! My next posts should be the best of the month, most of them already pre-written so I don't miss another day.

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