Bogleech Halloween Classics:

Squeeze Monsters!

DISCOVERED: Factory Card Outlet, 2007

Jonathan Wojcik

   It's not all that often we find a completely original, uncategorizable monster in a cheap, nameless Halloween toy, but I dare you to tell me what this son of a bitch is supposed to be. His mouth is a zipper, he has a singular pointed ear, his head is sewn shut and his nose is a forked tube. This is the kind of nonsensical bogeyman spawned from the nightmares of fever-riddled children. A bogeyman with "rolling eyes" that "stretches body"...and he's not alone!

   A total of six different squeeze monsters were offered; three of them rather conventional, including some sort of hooded lich, a skull-headed ghoul and Frankenstein's monster, while the other three were more surreal. Besides zipper-mouth, we could also get some sort of frog-like humanoid with absurdly huge eyeballs and a one-eyed, pumpkin Mickey Mouse. None are quite so disturbing as zipper-mouth, especially with that one unsettlingly human red eye of his, but Mickey Pumpclops may very well exceed him in sheer weirdness. I bought all three of the upper freaks, and unfortunately, I've never seen these designs since. They have at least held up quite well, still looking good as new more than seven years later!