>Inquire About Ite-
CROOKED SPINE:
SAAAAY NO MORE! Allow me to introduce you to the ENTIRE selection of items within your.......RESPECTABLY modest budget!!!
SAAAAY NO MORE! Allow me to introduce you to the ENTIRE selection of items within your.......RESPECTABLY modest budget!!!
TANGLE OF BARBED WIRE:
A rusty looking clump of the stuff.
A rusty looking clump of the stuff.
CROOKED SPINE:
An ASTOUNDING artifact! Utilized by the BRUTAL monstrosities of the greyzone to keep their GARGANTUAN offspring contained!
An ASTOUNDING artifact! Utilized by the BRUTAL monstrosities of the greyzone to keep their GARGANTUAN offspring contained!
CUCKOO CLOCK:
Headless, and obviously not functioning.
Headless, and obviously not functioning.
CROOKED SPINE:
Another FASCINATING piece of greyzone history! Prior to the zone's UNTIMELY RECONFIGURATION, these devices were employed to frighten intruders away from the plaster and vinyl nesting sites of the zone's FIFTIETH most dominant inhabitants!
Another FASCINATING piece of greyzone history! Prior to the zone's UNTIMELY RECONFIGURATION, these devices were employed to frighten intruders away from the plaster and vinyl nesting sites of the zone's FIFTIETH most dominant inhabitants!
POOL NOODLE:
Just a pool noodle.
Just a pool noodle.
CROOKED SPINE:
SICK and TIRED of having your shnabbles grobbled by the shnabllegrobbler?! Voomf his stunkus STRAIGHT back in his face with this FIIIINE invention by the DEAD WORLD OF THE GREY!
SICK and TIRED of having your shnabbles grobbled by the shnabllegrobbler?! Voomf his stunkus STRAIGHT back in his face with this FIIIINE invention by the DEAD WORLD OF THE GREY!
FERN:
I.....
I.....
CONCRETE BLOCK:
With rebar sticking out of it and everything!
With rebar sticking out of it and everything!
CROOKED SPINE:
WHAT an UNPARALELLED OPPORTUNITY! The LAST Cranial Smashinator recovered from the UTTER DEVASTATION that befalled the grey! PROBABLY used by its inhabitants to crush their old, unwanted crania before the little rascals escaped!!!
WHAT an UNPARALELLED OPPORTUNITY! The LAST Cranial Smashinator recovered from the UTTER DEVASTATION that befalled the grey! PROBABLY used by its inhabitants to crush their old, unwanted crania before the little rascals escaped!!!
FERN:
Er, no-
Er, no-
TORN VAN HALEN POSTER:
You used to have a somewhat different one.
You used to have a somewhat different one.
CROOKED SPINE:
PRESUMABLY an icon of worship to the EXTINCT BIPEDS of the............of the.......groy zone? Grum zone? SOMETHING like that! WHO CARES, RIGHT?!
PRESUMABLY an icon of worship to the EXTINCT BIPEDS of the............of the.......groy zone? Grum zone? SOMETHING like that! WHO CARES, RIGHT?!
FERN:
Dude......
Dude......
HEADLESS DOLL:
Its arms weirdly large, too.
Its arms weirdly large, too.
CROOKED SPINE:
This STARTLINGLY accurate recreation of the Gary Zone's so-called "H O R S E" can be YOURS for all your culinary needs!!!
This STARTLINGLY accurate recreation of the Gary Zone's so-called "H O R S E" can be YOURS for all your culinary needs!!!
FERN:
What? And what??
What? And what??
PLUSH CREATURE ON A STRING:
What the heck is it? You're not sure. It reminds you of a big cat toy.
What the heck is it? You're not sure. It reminds you of a big cat toy.
CROOKED SPINE:
Got a pesky abyssal predator on your hands!? This marvelous invention replicates one of their most common prey items for the ultimate in predator distractification! BY THE WAY, DID YOU KNOW THE GREY ZONE IS INCREDIBLY DECEASED!?!?! INCONSEQUENTIAL BUT TRUE!!!
Got a pesky abyssal predator on your hands!? This marvelous invention replicates one of their most common prey items for the ultimate in predator distractification! BY THE WAY, DID YOU KNOW THE GREY ZONE IS INCREDIBLY DECEASED!?!?! INCONSEQUENTIAL BUT TRUE!!!
FERN:
Um. Yeah. I've pretty much been told that already.
But...that's it? Just this junk? You didn't even give me prices this time....
Um. Yeah. I've pretty much been told that already.
But...that's it? Just this junk? You didn't even give me prices this time....
CROOKED SPINE:
YOU DIDN'T KNOW!!?! ........SHE DOESN'T KNOW, FOLKS!!!!
The sound of an audience "awww"-ing can be heard, as if the situation is endearingly pathetic.
You're just, JUST, JUUUUST in the nick of t#1M]E?EE to enjoy an EX-CLUSIVVVE SUPER SHOPPER MYSTERY MEGASALE in which EACH OF THESE PARTICULAR GOODS cost the low, llllOOOWWWW price of WHATEVER CURRENCY FERN HAS LEFT!
The audience-sound emits an "ahhhhhh!" of hushed awe at the offer.
YOU DIDN'T KNOW!!?! ........SHE DOESN'T KNOW, FOLKS!!!!
The sound of an audience "awww"-ing can be heard, as if the situation is endearingly pathetic.
You're just, JUST, JUUUUST in the nick of t#1M]E?EE to enjoy an EX-CLUSIVVVE SUPER SHOPPER MYSTERY MEGASALE in which EACH OF THESE PARTICULAR GOODS cost the low, llllOOOWWWW price of WHATEVER CURRENCY FERN HAS LEFT!
The audience-sound emits an "ahhhhhh!" of hushed awe at the offer.
