Written by Jonathan Wojcik

Home Depot 2016

I actually worked for Home Depot when they were first entering the Halloween game, or at least as far as I ever knew they had. Boy was that awful. I'm pretty sure I ruined my back by my mid-20's walking refrigerators onto upper shelves, because Home Depot is a place with refrigerators on upper shelves.

Anyway, they've actually got some pretty amazing stuff this year, making this one of the very few times Home Depot's selection has been worthy of its own post. Let's find out why!


First up are these lovely Pocket Screamers available in Werewolf, Witch and long-faced Pumpkin Man. The details on those oversized faces are great, and they've got posable arms and entire little cloth outfits! This is actually the first time I've seen a screamer of a wolfman this cool, maybe one of the first times a wolfman has stood out to me this much in any set where a pumpkin monster is available.

Bump n' Go Tarantula

This big, chubby spider has a uniquely adorable sculpt I haven't seen before in a spider product, and "bump n' go" implies it just roves around the floor like a Roomba, changing direction whenever it hits something! That's hours, possibly days of entertainment, especially if you've also got cats.

Giant Witch Head Lantern

This huge, ceramic, hollow lantern is a product you often see in pumpkin and skull flavors, but this is the first time I've seen one that's just a big, severed witch's head, or at least the head of a big burrowing witch who decided to say hey.

Hocus Flag

Speaking of witches, how great is it that somebody decided a witch hat with legs - what we're calling a Hocus - needed to be the subject of a decorative flag with absolutely nothing else on it? I wholeheartedly agree with that judgment call, especially when we're talking about a Hocus this fashionable. What an utter cutie-pie. Some day, when I have a yard of my own, I'll proudly fly this image of a hat with legs year-round from the very peak of our rooftop. The world will know at a glance exactly what I'm all about.

Animated Vulture

The steady frequency with which this vulture looks around and squawks is completely unnecessary and I wouldn't want it any other way.

Haunted Chair

This skeletal phantasm has been pretending to be a chair for so long that she needed a little help getting back up.

This Witch is a Phone

Home Depot sure is home to some weirdo witches this year. This one is also a phone. She has what I'm sure is the most shit-eating expression we'll ever see on a witch that was also a phone, and she presumably scurries around on her webbed, skeletal neck-hands, allowing her to follow you relentlessly and insist you've got an important phone call until she wears you down and you finally pick up only for her to scream threatening, ominous things and laugh at you. Again.