Written by Jonathan Wojcik



We've now seen all five of the main characters with 52 forms each...that's 260 playable monsters, but this game ALSO has 130 enemy monsters. The original game had us facing an incredibly variety of surreal-looking space aliens, which, I'm not sure I ever mentioned, were all supposedly mutated from humans who left the planet Earth before its demonic apocalypse.

Now that the alien threat is long gone, After Armageddon seems to be more about cleaning up that demon infestation, and so your new enemies are monsters more like you!

We're not going to look at all 130 of them, but closer to the number of forms we reviewed for our protagonists. To see all of them, just check out their tag on Crashcarnival's blog RIGHT HERE!


"Air elementals" in most media tend to be really, really boring to me, but here we have a horrifying, filthy looking veiny cloud with both a human skull and a demonic goat-man forming out of the mist. I think it's safe to assume that perhaps neither is the "true face," but that this being is possibly ever-changing.

Another of those monsters with a very strong "Ultraman" feel to me, I really like how this creature has a sort of trilobite-like lower body but angles upward into two whiplike tentacles and a single, ruby red eye.

This one's cool because it kind of looks like a humanoid creature's brain began to grow outside of its head and even engulf its upper arms and torso!

UNPLEASANT. Bad enough that this crab-walking thing has such an off-putting human head, but I can't rightfully say that it's only a "tail" it's dragging around at us.

Did they mean "homunculus?" Mighty weird, I have to say, with tiny little eyes shining from a mere hole where its head should be...or is that one big eye? And then theres the bird beak sticking out of the figure's chest.

An especially weird name, and a design that gets weirder as you parse its anatomy. It's got eyes up under a sort of turtle-shell helmet, and a snout that turns into a stunted, headless humanoid torso with arms that reach back to grip its own....ribs? Legs? What is happening here?!

The face of this thing almost looks like a cute, baby seal, except there's a sort of eyeless green dinosaur-snout protruding from its mouth and the rest of it is like a hideously mutated, long-limbed armadillo.

This creature is kind of dinosaur-like, but that face looks more like a toothless, deep-sea fish with long, whiplike whiskers. If you've seen any of my drawings you already know that I also really like when a monster's shoulder blades are really obvious.

Intriguingly polypous, with a head that reminds me of a sperm whale and a lower body more like a cross between an octopus and a bat. I guess it has kind of a Cthulhu vibe, but more interesting than your typical example.

Huh?? Who's Galmay, and why is their foot running around on its own, eating demons!? It doesn't even actually look like a foot, but like a severed hand, with an eye and a tooth-flanked sphincter mouth (if that is the mouth...) and some arthropod legs for good measure. Terrifying! I wonder where the rest of them went?!

Awwww. This poor giant just looks tired. It does not at all look like it feels up for fighting and would really, really rather be left alone, and with fat elephant feet for arms and legs, it seems like it practically evolved to spend most of its existence at rest. The look on that face is totally an "I've just been woken up by a bunch of demons wailing on me. What's going on" look if I've ever seen one.

I really can't take that name seriously when it begins with "GILF," but the design is slick and fierce as heck! Really like the little eyeless tapir-face it has going on, but then it's got those scary spider-leg wing things on its back!

What the hell!? This thing's body is just a big, fat hairy dog head with a bunch of arms, and then it has some sort of little blue squiddy head or parasite on top!?

Well, that's not the most inspiring name, but this is a real cool looking reptilian bug monster, nice coloration with lovely massive eyes. Really, the easiest way to make me love ANY insectoid design (okay...just any design) is bigger eyeballs. They can pretty much never be too big for me.

Well, what you hear is what you get. It's the head of a ghast and a ghastly head at that! Both rotten skull and demon head, with a little tangle of viscera for good measure and a lewdly protruding tongue! Everything about this is just dreadful, in the best way!

I can only read this one as a huge head with legs and a bulbous muzzle, like a messed up elephant seal, though I also feel like those lumps of flesh down there are trying to morph into humanoid faces.

ACTUALLY CREEPY. It takes so much for me to feel that way, but a giant, upside-down, decrepit human head definitely does the trick, even without a monster body attached, and then there's those tubes or tendrils disgustingly connecting the nostrils to the mouth. Why!?!

Buick's business model sure has changed over the course of a few hundred millenia, hasn't it?

I can't really tell what's supposed to be going on with this big, walking head, except it almost looks like it's getting sucked in to the gravitational pull of its own mouth!

A simple buglike enemy, but not any particular creature; it's somewhere between an insect larva and an isopod, I think, with a pretty cute little face.

This is just a cool, eyeless mouth with a sac of guts for a body and a bunch of finger-like spider legs, all pretty snazzy when you make it entirely cherry red...though I wonder what other kinds of Zork there may be. What does a Sea Zork look like?

Fun fact, the word "larva" is actually derived from a latin term for a ghost or spirit! The devil head on this isn't too exciting in itself, but it's pretty interesting on this fat caterpillar body. The little branches on its back are way cool, and the red pits break up the color scheme nicely as well.

I had to include this one, of course, even if there isn't a whole lot I can say about it except for the fact that it is a very nicely designed, almost scientifically accurate leech. I say "almost" only because I think the wider end here is supposed to be the mouth, but in actual leeches, that is generally the tail-sucker. The color scheme is almost lifted straight from some real medicinal leeches, though!

Not much I can say about this creature, but I like it. I like the spotty pattern and the drips under its head. A good Bols, good and Luft.

This series sure loves its swept-back skulls! Not much else stands out about this many-limbed monster but its almost uniform shiny bronze coloration.

This one's got a lot of cute personality! Its rocky coloration and hunched body reminds me a little of a rust monster, but it's got needle-nose pliers for hands and a head like a cicada with a bird's beak. All in all, a super neat critter.

It's a mimic! What else can I say?? I like that this one's lid isn't just its mouth, though. It really looks more like a creature that evolved to hide inside of a chest instead of the chest itself.

I love Brad's goggle-like insect eyes! I also like creatures who have upper fangs but no lower jaw we can see. It just always looks really cool, and then the rest of Brad is basically an extra-rugged trilobite with really long legs!

LOVE It! This is so much cooler and scarier than the typical "mushroom man" Myconid! That brainy red and yellow puffball head looks far too cool with the little skull-teeth under it, and then its arms are like many-jointed bug legs and it's erupting all over the place with little mushrooms!

Sometimes it's kind of impossible to tell what a creature is supposed to be and it still looks surprisingly menacing. Naftresh is a squishy, tentacled, almost cloak-like mass of flesh with two massive "horns" or "tusks" and I can't tell where its head is supposed to be, but i can tell it can mess you up pretty bad.

Neuro...spider? Spider?! Where?! Where's the spider?! All I see is a huge mass of human heads, one of them suspiciously kind of Jesus-like, but with two huge, red eyes and some kind of mechanical satellite body in the back, with a light-up antenna. This is unbelievably freaky and confusing. I could kill to know the logic behind any of these.

I like how this monster kind of resembles a bunch of separate ghostly ghouls, some of them with worm bodies, all squirming in and out of and/or devouring the same knot of old meat, but it's ALL one creature!

Is it boring to read someone just physically describe monsters? I really don't know. I know it's something I enjoy myself because I kind of go through life with this strange sensation of, like, "is everyone else really seeing what I'm seeing? And do they APPRECIATE it?"

This one would be such a challenge to put into words, however, that I think I need to try just to see if it's really possible. Nosgrasnoch has, okay, a big green blob of a body. Simple enough. It's got some flat, reddish flaps or fins sticking out of the back. So far so good. It has four freaky blue human-like arms coming out of the bottom, and then the head...the head is where it gets tough. The head is a little ball, right? But it has five tubes or tentacles splaying out of it and connecting into the green blob body. Then it has something like huge, long, almost humanoid nose sticking out the front of the ball, and where the "nostrils" would be, it has a couple of segmented antennae.

Did I do it?? Is that what this thing really looks like?? You're seeing what I'm seeing??

HUH!!! In Final Fantasy games, an "Ochu" is a plant monster ripped off from the Otyugh from Dungeons and Dragons. Here, it's like a funky blue turtle, but the turtle's "head" is a little eyeball stalk, it has a mouth on the "shell" and then it has two deadly-looking spike-tipped tentacles. I love it!!!

Yep, it's just an owlbear, straight from Dungeons and Dragons! Owlbears were also ripped for the Dragon Quest series, to be fair, so perhaps it's meant to be homaging that Owlbear. The concept of an owlbear is so funny, isn't it? Does it REALLY make the bear part any scarier to give it the head of just a different bitey predator?

I just...what. WHaT? PLAQUE BEEFETTE???? I can't even begin to talk about this thing's physical appearance. Just...PLAQUE??? BEEFETTE?????

Plaque Beefette (PFFFT!) is another that might be a challenge to describe in words, so let's try it again! It has a blobbular green body, but it has big muscly human-like legs on it, which connect to what kind of looks like a featureless knob of a head up on top of the blob. Below that, though, is some kind of yellow structure, I don't know, like a snail head? With antennae? The snail head's got a thick, transparent membrane around it, and then underneath that are a couple of thin, curved tusks or tentacles. If you can't even see and you experience this site through a text-to-speech system, trust me that seeing Plaque Beefette is probably as confusing as everything I just said.

A scary one! Kind of a bat-winged purple demon, but then where it's head oughta be is just some ragged, drooping flesh, almost like long "hair" covering its face, but I don't know if there's any room for a face underneath that. The large size of its scaly forearms is pretty threatening as well.

A really cool name, and a more dangerous sounding name than I'd expect from this sad and awkward looking creature. No teeth, no claws, no weaponry we can see at all...just a hunch-backed mutant bug body with an old lady's face and pitiful froggy limbs. You know that means Rendrock can, in fact, almost definitely do SOMETHING terrible, but I do not know what.

Another one sort of taken from Dungeons and Dragons, except that a Roper in D&D is basically a one-eyed stalagmite with tentacles. This one is a bright and colorful anemone-like organism, so there's no way it could pull of any camouflage tricks, but it's pretty snazzy! I love red, pink and purple on the same creature, and the bright blue eyes are the perfect finishing touch!

Another funny name to say out loud, but a mighty unsettling design. It's a little sphinx-like, complete with breasts, but then the head is kind of like a bull with its face chopped off, and a green tentacle, or even a trail of green slime, pouring out of the face-hole and right into its cleavage. That is...all a whole lot more distressing when I type it out.

I include this just because it's one of the few times I've seen the "original" Scylla really portrayed in anything. She was supposed to have the upper body of a human woman, and multiple dogs instead of legs. That is pretty horrifying, especially how it was described in a book of Greek myths and legends I had as a kid, that she just woke up surrounded one day by hideous, slobbering, bug-eyed dogs and found that when she tried to scurry away from them...they all came with her. The horror is perhaps slightly lessened here by the pose, because it reads to me like she's flashing us an I.D. card. "Sorry, folks, official Scylla business. You have the right to be mauled by dogs."

Wow, what the HELL. This looks like a skeleton-armed mutant baby climbing out of a manhole, complete with flipped-up metal "lid," though perhaps it's more like a metallic clam? I don't know what those other flaps of flesh and tubes and things are, but they do all remind me of some kind of mollusk.

What a fun thing! Six bug legs, brain-like body, giant eyeball, fanged platypus mouth, Shagdray is just the complete package, isn't it?!

TARKY ZELZON!? What the ever-loving crap ARE you!? Except for the pair of jointed, humanoid arms this monster just looks like a series of burlap bags spitting each other out into a sort of giant yam shape, and I thing the tapering end of the backmost "bag" is the head, if that one little dark speck is supposed to be an eye.

This being is wildly unsettling! A humanoid with chitinous, cracked looking skin, gliding membranes and...what do we call that head? It's like a snail shell or a cornucopia with purple fruit spilling out. It's just freakishly surreal, and its pose looks so energetic and fun-loving, like it probably has some kind of mischievous jokester personality.

A simple, interesting slimy humanooid with a kind of egg-like body, I guess, featureless except where its yellow innards show through. Mighty unnerving!

Wow, that is a WEIRD name for this...thing. This giant rocky ball with a hose mouth and human feet. I wonder if those things on the back are like organic "thrusters?" They're shaped like it, like they can spew something out with enough force to launch the whole thing into its enemies.

How cute! An armadillo monster with extremely accurate mole-claws! I actually don't see a lot of mole monsters whose claws are in this position, which is a shame, because it's one of the most charming things about an actual mole.

Super creepy! Loving this chewed-gum golem's empty hose arms, bloody cracks and "face" of nondescript yellow blisters. You know what it reminds me of? A biohazard suit. It's how a biohazard suit would look if you converted it all into living tissues and then allowed them to keep growing for a while. Way to look perfectly post-apocalyptic, Wizpantel.

You can't put "Jester" in a monster's name without us all immediately thinking it must have a totally zany personality, but this slimy green creep looks pretty serious to me. Are those big, red nails just sprouting out of its right side or are they on the end of that tail behind it? I really can't tell. The whole thing looks like part of a carnivorous plant that got up and walked away.

From the name to the design, this totally feels like some kind of artificial laboror that slowly broke down. It looks disturbingly organic, yet also like a half-melted robot man, and "Concrupp" simultaneously sounds to my mind like "construct" and "corrupt." Maybe it was actually infected, and now controlled, by whatever that yellowish scum is supposed to be?


We won't cover ALL the bosses here, because honestly, half of them are pretty bland giant old men or dragons, but look at Seljoe! What a weirdo mutant! I love that head that's like, barely even a head. Just some gigeresque tubes, really. And he looks so sympathetically glum!


Only the second boss in the game, but humongous! A humongous mess that almost looks like an entire building and all of its occupants were melted down into a heap of slag. Creepy!


A more "conventional" monster, in that it is a robed phantom with a skeletal head and limbs, but the proportions of Soul Stalker are beautifully extreme and really quite haunting, especially that dangling tongue!


That's basically what its name translated to, or "Object that Came From Space," so I guess the alien threat isn't really over, and this big funky brain-scorpion is actually the last boss in the game, so...I guess we're done!