TINY BOOTLEG SIRENHEAD PRESENTS:
THE INEXORABLE CORRUPTION OF YOUR INNOCENT YOUTH
WELL, WELL, WELL...SOME AMONG YOU THINK YOU ARE SAFE IN YOUR HOME FROM A CREEPY PASTA BECAUSE YOU HAVE WEAKER OFFSPRING THAT THE CREEPY PASTA WOULD GET FIRST BUT IN FACT YOU MAY BE GRAVELY MISTAKEN. LITTLE DO YOU KNOW YOUR CHERISHED SPAWN MAY BE AGENTS OF OUR MACHINATIONS AS WE SPEAK!!!!
ONE DAY PERHAPS YOUR BABY HUMAN CREATURE WILL WALK UP BEHIND YOU WHILE YOU ARE DOING YOUR ADULT HUMAN THINGS SUCH AS WRITING THE NEWS PAPER OR MAKING GREEN HOUSE GASES AND THEY WILL SAY "HELLO PROGENITOR, IT IS I, THE ONE WHO WAS FORGED WITHIN THINE ENTRAILS" AND YOU WILL THINK "HA HA, THAT IS QUITE TRUE OF MY REGULAR HUMAN OFFSPRING, THEREFORE THAT MUST BE WHO I WILL SEE WHEN I TURN AROUND!" BUT THEN......... WHEN YOU TURN AROUND.............!!!!!!
PERHAPS YOU THINK YOU CAN THWART DANGER WHEN YOU SIMPLY INFORM YOUR HOMUNCULI THAT THEY ARE FORBIDDEN FROM DONNING THE VISAGE OF THE MIGHTY SIREN HEAD. THAT IS FINE. BECAUSE THEN THEY WILL SAY "ALRIGHT, I WILL DRESS UP AS A CARTOON'S CAT INSTEAD" AND YOU WILL SAY "AH YES. WE HUMANS DO NOT FIND MOST CARTOONS SCARY AND YOU MUST MEAN A REGULAR SMALL CAT THAT LIVES IN OUR BUILDINGS RATHER THAN THE LARGE CATS THAT EAT PEOPLE. THIS IS PERMISSIBLE BEHAVIOR AS IT WILL NOT FRIGHTEN ME WHEN I TURN AROUND AND LOOK AT YOU."
YOU DO NOT REALIZE THAT YOUR WORDS HAVE SEALED YOUR FATE.
EXCUSE ME??? WHAT IS THIS???? I DO NOT DO THIS THING. THIS IS AN INACCURATE DEPICTION. UGH. IF YOU WALK INTO MY WOODS EMBLAZED WITH THIS LUDICROUSLY IMPROBABLE IMAGE THINKING I AM GOING TO GET YOU AND KILL YOU WELL MAYBE YOU CAN JUST FORGET IT!!!!!!!!!!! HOW ABOUT THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BUT ANYWAY MAYBE YOU SURVIVED THE FRIGHT OF ACCIDENTALLY LOOKING AT THE CARTOON CAT CHILD COSTUME BUT WE HORROR GUYS DO NOT GIVE UP THAT EASY!! IT WAS CHALLENGING TO MAKE A COSTUME OF OUR GOOD FRIEND LONGED HORSE BUT WE DID IT ANYWAY. LONGED HORSE IS NOT REALLY SHAPED LIKE A HUMAN PERSON IS SHAPED. LONGED HORSE IS ALSO NICE AND WILL NOT GET YOU BUT IF YOUR CHILD WEARS THIS IN THE DARK IT WILL LOOK LIKE LONGED HORSE IS THERE, MAYBE ALSO LIKE YOUR CHILDS HEAD IS FLYING IN THE AIR. I DONT REALLY KNOW HOW SCARY THAT IS BUT THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT SO YOU BETTER SERIOUSLY REALLY WATCH YOUR BACK!!!!
OKAY WAIT HERES ANOTHER SHOT AT LONGED HORSE. NOW YOUR CHILDS CRANIUM IS CLEVERLY DISGUISED AS THAT OF THE HORIZONTALLY BLESSED EQUINE. THE HUMAN SHAPE DID GIVE US SOME TROUBLE SO IT KIND OF LOOKS LIKE A MUMMY THAT NOBODY FINISHED. PERHAPS IF YOU RECOGNIZE LONGED HORSE YOU WILL BE QUITE FRIGHTENED AND IF YOU DO NOT YOU WILL BE QUITE FRIGHTENED STILL BECAUSE YOU WILL THINK THERE'S A MUMMY AND YOU WILL WONDER WHERE THE REST OF ITS BANDADGES ARE HIDING. IT COULD BE ANYWHERE.
I GUESS THIS ONE IS LIKE A BANANA GUY BUT WITH A FRIGHT MOUTH ON TOP??? WELL I BET IF YOUR SPAWN WAS STANDING BEHIND A CURTAIN AND IT WAS SLOWLY RISING UP YOU WOULD THINK THEY ARE JUST WEARING A NORMAL BANANA COSTUME. YOU WOULD BE LULLED INTO QUITE THE FALSE SENSE OF SAFETY I WAGER!!! WHEN YOU SEE THE BANANA FACE AND ITS NORMAL MOUTH ON THE FRONT YOU BREATHE A SIGH OF RELIEF, FOR SURELY THAT IS THE BANANAS ONLY MOUTH, LIKE ALL BANANAS. YOUR CONFIDENCE LEAVES YOU ILL PREPARED INDEED FOR WHAT AWAITS AT THE BANANAS APEX!! "BUT IT ALREADY HAD A REGULAR MOUTH!" YOU SHRIEK IN NIGHTMARE PANIC. "BUT IT IS WE HUMANS WHO PUT BANANAS INTO OUR MOUTH HOLES!!!!" YOU SCREAM IN TERRIFIED CONFUSION, STRUGGLING TO PROCESS THE IMPOSSIBILITY YOU HAVE BEHELD. "OH NOOOOOOOO!!!" YOU PROBABLY SCREAM NEXT AS YOUR EYEBALLS SHOOT OUT OF YOUR HEAD AND BOUNCE AROUND THE ROOM AND THEN INTO A DOG'S MOUTH. "NOT MY EYEBALLS!!! NOT RIGHT INTO THE DOG'S MOUTH!!!!" WELL LISTEN BUCKO YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW ALRIGHT DEAL WITH IT.
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