TINY BOOTLEG SIRENHEAD PRESENTS:
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WHAT??? DID YOU THINK THESE WERE MY ONLY DREADFUL COUNTERPARTS?! YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY COMPREHEND HOW MANY HORRORS LIE IN YOUR FUTURE. MAYBE LIKE TWELVE, OR TWENTY FIVE ISH EVEN!! AND THE WORST PART (FOR YOU!!!!!!!) IS HOW DASTARDFULLY WE WILL GET YOU. BEHOLD:



TREMBLE IN DESPAIR FOR WE KNOW EVERY HUMAN SECRET WITH WHICH YOU TRICK YOU!!! FOR EXAMPLE THIS IS SIREN...BIRTHDAY? BURGER HEAD!! YES! WITH HIS SIRENS HE WILL TRICK YOU BY PLAYING THE HUMAN BIRTHDAY SONG (THE MONSTER BIRTHDAY SONG WOULD SIMPLY TERRIFY YOU) AND WHEN YOU LOOK OVER TO SEE IF YOU ARE THE ONE HAVING THE BIRTHDAY, YOU SEE THE TRADITIONAL HUMAN BIRTHDAY BURGER, WITH BUT ONE SINGULAR CANDLE SIGNIFYING THAT THERE IS BUT ONE HUMAN WHO IS HAVING THE BIRTHDAY!!! PERHAPS YOU THINK YOU ARE SO SMART THAT YOU KNOW IT IS A TRAP...BUT IF IT IS NOT A TRAP.....IT IS A BIRTHDAY BURGER ALL FOR YOU ALONE.....AND YOU ARE WILLING TO TAKE THAT CHANCE. YOU ALWAYS ARE.



PARDON ME FRIEND DO YOU HAVE THE TIME?? NO WAIT DONT LOOK AT YOUR PHONE ITS UHHHHHHH POISONED. YOUR PHONE GOT POISONED SO DONT LOOK AT IT FOR A WHILE!!! HMMMM WAIT A MINUTE HERE I STILL WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS AND I'LL BET YOU WOULD LOVE TO BE ABLE TO TELL ME!!! WHAT A DILEMMA!!! IF ONLY - WAIT! IT COULDN'T BE!!! - WHY IT WOULD SEEM THAT THERE IS A PERFECTLY GOOD CLOCK OUT HERE IN THE WOODS ONLY TWELVE OR THIRTEEN FEET UP IN THE AIR! LOL I CHECKED AND MADE SURE IT WAS NOT POISONOUS AND IT IS NOT A MONSTERS HEAD EITHER. GO ON. GO UP AND LOOK AT WHAT TIME IT IS. HEH HEH HEH.



"FREE MOVIES!" SCREAMS FREE MOVIES HEAD FROM HER FREE MOVIES HEAD...BUT SOME TIMES...PERHAPS YOU GET PRECISELY WHAT YOU PAY FOR!!! MWA HA HA!!! THESE MOVIES ARE FREE AND YET THEY COME WITH A DIFFERENT SORT OF "PRICE" INDEED!! BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR SOME TIMES!!!! IT IS FREE MOVIES YOU WANTED AND FREE MOVIES YOU SHALL RECEIVE...A FULL LIBRARY OF CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED CLASSICS IN HIGH DEFINITION QUALITY....BUT MY, MY, HOW THE TABLES TURN! HOW THE SHOE FITS ON THE OTHER FEET!!! FOR YOU SEE, IN THE ULTIMATE TWIST OF POETIC IRONY, FREE MOVIES HEAD HAS A GUN AND SHOOTS YOU.



THIS ONE IS SIRENS TOMATO HEAD OR SOMETHING. "COME AND EAT A BIG TOMATO" IT SCREAMS FROM ITS SIRENS, NO DOUBT AS YOU HUMANS PRACTICALLY TUMBLE OVER EACH OTHER TO GET A BIG TOMATO. YOU PROBABLY LOOK REALLY STUPID LIKE JUST PILES AND PILES OF YOU POURING IN TO THE DIRTY WOODS LIKE MORONS BECAUSE YOU LOOOOOVE BIG TOMATOES SO MUCH.



SIGHT HEAD SEES EVERYTHING!!!! LITERALLY FOR REAL SHE SEES EVERY THING ALWAYS. YOU DO NOT THINK THAT IS SCARY AT FIRST BUT ALAS, REALIZATION WILL SOON DAWN UPON YOUR IDIOTIC FACE I BET. IF SHE SEES EVERYTHING DOES THIS NOT MEAN SHE SEES YOUR DARKEST DEEDS? YOUR MOST PATHETIC OF HUMILIATIONS? THE WORST THINGS ON YOUR COMPUTER?? SHE EVEN SEES WHETHER OR NOT YOU HAVE A BUTT. SHES SEEING THAT RIGHT NOW. YOU ARE JUST LUCKY THAT WITHOUT ANY SIRENS SHE CANNOT TELL EVERYBODY.



WHAT IS THIS GUYS HEAD DOES ANYBODY KNOW



SO THIS IS TINY LAMP HEAD WHICH IS DIFFERENT FROM REGULAR LAMP HEAD (WHO I WILL SHOW YOU LATER MAYBE) BECAUSE HIS LIGHT DOES NOT WORK BUT IT DOES HAVE TEETH SO WHEN YOU GO TO FIX THE LIGHT BULB HE WILL BITE YOUR HAND!!! OR WAIT ACTUALLY MAYBE NOT!!! MAYBE THERE IS SOMETHING REALLY GOOD IN THERE FOR HUMANS, YOU KNOW, ONE OF THOSE DUMB THINGS THAT HUMANS LIKE FOR SOME REASON LIKE MAYBE IF YOU REACH IN YOU WILL FIND "BOOBY" OR PERHAPS "SOCIAL VALIDATION," MAYBE IT IS EVEN "LINOLEUM???" HOW WILL YOU KNOW. DEEPER YOU SINK INTO OUR MADDENING MIND GAMES.



WE ARE TO UNDERSTAND THAT HUMANS ALSO HIGHLY ENJOY LITTLE KISSES, SO HOW WILL YOU RESIST THE SIREN SONG OF ONE BIG GIANT KISSES FROM KISSES HEAD??? KISSES HEAD EVEN HAS SOME EXTRA, STANDARD SIZE KISSES INSTEAD OF EYES, WHICH ARE ON SOME LONG ANTENNULAS, SO WHEN IT GIVES YOU ONE BIG KISSES IT CAN ALSO GIVE YOU TWO LITTLE ONES LIKE ON THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD AT THE SAME TIME. IT IS PROBABLY VERY NICE AND YOU WILL BE HAPPY. BUT!!! THEY WERE NOT REALLY KISSES AT ALL BECAUSE KISSES HEAD IS EMOTIONALLY IMPARTIAL TO YOU AT BEST. THERE CERTAINLY ARE MANY LAYERED WAYS TO BECOME THE GOTTEN I MUST SAY. HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE SO GULLIBLE????



THIS IS ILLEGAL TINY SIREN HEAD BANANA TIME. IT IS ACTUALLY ME EXCEPT ALSO DURING BANANA TIME. AND THAT MEANS........HOO BOY........"SIGH AN AURA SUCKER" IS ALL I CAN SAY!!!!!!


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