The idea of Death riding a rainbow unicorn is one of those things that sounds silly on paper, and it's meant to be silly here, but put any further thought into it and it's actually just radical. A more realistic depiction of this exact scene would be an absolutely amazing mural for the side of a van, a metal album cover, or a mural on the back wall of a store that keeps changing hands but somehow always sells something with CBD oil in it.


Another Lowe's exclusive, this giant lawn inflatable consists of just a witchy green hand with an eyeball in the palm, animated to look back and forth! I think this is the first I've seen this imagery for an inflatable, but I've seen a number of Halloween sculptures and artwork by now with a one-eyed hand. I realize it's supposed to be kind of symbolic fortune-telling symbolism, but maybe it's time to declare this one another unofficial Halloween "creature?"


This inflatable is just a green zombie floating around in a spacesuit, which is also fairly new for giant yard balloons. There's something exceptionally unsettling about an undead astronaut. Before we really started sending humans into space, a lot of horror fiction assumed "cosmic radiation" would do weird and horrible things to people, so astro-zombies used to be a lot more common.


This is a giant, inflatable Halloween decoration of an anthropomorphic crocodile. Okay! That's not far-fetched! It's also trick-or-treating. That makes sense! But it's candy bag says "Trick or Sleep" on it. It's eyes are closed and its arms are outstretched, like it's sleepwalking. It's also wearing pajamas and a nightcap, with a skull pattern.

I have no idea why this exists. That doesn't mean it shouldn't exist, no, Sleepy Hallowen Crocodile is adorable and precious and all of us support it, but that still doesn't explain why. Crocodiles are sleepy creatures but it's not their most famous characteristic, not like bees being busy or skunks being stinky. Maybe it's best not to ask too many questions. We don't want to look a gift horse in the mouth here. We don't want Sleepy Halloween Crocodile to leave. God, no. Jesus. Don't even joke about it, man.


Most inflatables aim for a cartoon-like design, but here we have a gigantic, crawling baby with a realistically detailed, scowling, fang-toothed face, and you know, most of us take this kind of demonic infant for granted these days, but several feet tall? With a light-up photorealistic face? This is the kind of Halloween decoration that makes more traditionalist neighbors angry and gives small children recurring nightmares. This puts some real genuine edge into inflatables. It's ghastly and it's hilarious, in other words what Halloween is truly all about.


Oh. Huh. Speaking of angry neighbors, I guess. I can't imagine a whole lot of people are going to buy two gigantic, light-up balloon skeletons straddling each other for the average suburban lawn. It's cute though, it certainly makes a statement. They also gave one of the skeletons long, whispy white hair so you can tell the same angry neighbors that a skeleton with long hair is obviously a girl skeleton, while a skeleton with no hair is obviously a boy skeleton, and you're just trying to express your god-fearing, patriotic heterosexual pride because otherwise the socialists win. That'll get 'em. That'll get 'em to put the same exact thing on their lawn, just in case, and now you've just ingeniously doubled the amount of what could actually just as easily be SUPER gay skeleton sex in your street. And that, too, is what Halloween is all about why not!