Halloween at Home Depot 2023
Written by Jonathan Wojcik
Skeleton Gargoyles
A year or two ago, Home Depot tried out some rotten pumpkin-headed skeletons. In 2023, they bring us stony grey skeletons with batlike wings and heads. Skelegoyles!! You can't even complain that a skull shouldn't have ears on it, since it's the "skull" of a carved concrete monster anyway.
Giant Ghost
Not just a modificaton of the giant skeleton! This is an entirely new towering ghoul, a skull-faced ghost wrapped in an ectoplasmic shroud. The details are amazing, really filmy and wrinkly and membranous, to the point that it could pass just as easily as a corpse wrapped in the silk of a gigantic spider! I feel this is the coolest of the giants thus far, and I just don't see a lot of detailed, scary ghosts made entirely of plastic; they usually use actual cloth, which may look "real," but can be more limiting.
Giant Witch
They kind of "cheat" a little here, in that the witch herself doesn't stand ten feet tall, but she's kind of a legless, floating witch sculpt supported by the huge broom she's holding onto. Still pretty rad! A clever way to make a witch that really towers above everything else.
Bog Monster
This is a human-size, muscular, reptilian beast with tattered clothing and deer antlers. I feel like it was probably designed at first to represent a certain Native American monster, but someone along the way wisely suggested they rename it to something more generic. Even if it wasn't considered culturally insensitive to make money off this particular legend, it would still be wildly inaccurate, so good call all around! What we end up with is a completely original cryptozoological whatsit that comes across as a hybrid of human, deer and crocodile.
Gargoyle Demon Guy
You can see this in my photos of our local store; it's a bit taller than a grown adult, and sort of a veiny, naked bat-winged demon thing, but they made it a silvery grey to come across as nother gargoyle sort of being. Probably also wise, since full blown red devil imagery tends to rile up the weirdos. Anyway, the pale red-veined wing membranes look really good! They really pop out against the rest of its much darker palette!
Cyborg
This is an odd one, and such a niche concept I'm not sure it'll really take off, but an interesting effort! A grotesque cybernetic figure with a bladed weapon for a left arm, exposed wire "ribs" and a glowing red left eye. I have to say it would probably be a little more popular if its had more skull-like metal teeth and jaws; having an almost entirely fleshy face is uncanny, but loses the "cool" factor more people look for in a decorative monster.
Marie the Maid & Dean the Deathologist
Two skeleton characters apparently designed to go together! Dean the Deathologist is marketed as some sort of doctor pouring a green "potion" into a glass, but he comes across more like a bartender, and I'm thinking maybe they didn't want a holiday item to promote drinking. His counterpart Marie is a skeleton dressed as a maid who's also about to hit someone over the head with a bottle, presumably one of Dean's I guess! At multiple Home Depots, they're set up like Marie is sneaking up behind Dean to give him a big wallop. What's their story???
Some Kind of Bogeyman?!
I haven't seen what this guy is called, but he's a tall, thin animatronic in a tuxedo looking suit he has scraggly black hair and his screaming face is covered over in veiny skin. When activated, he also gives an excessively long speech about how he will Devastate Your Soul With Darkness No Mortal Can Comprehend Which Will Also Drive You To The Ultimate Despair For All Eternity, or something along those lines. My video of it didn't come out. Take a chill pill, man!
Scary Bear (and friend)
I saw these displayed together, so I'm showing them to you together. Large, hollow plastic yard ornaments consisting of a menacing, pumpkin-faced teddy bear with exposed ribs and a completely cute, innocent black cat dressed as a witch. I'm going to say they are friends.
Wacky Pumpkin
That's what they called this! A big plastic pumpkin whose light-up eyes are surrounded by wrinkled, black flesh filling their tall, ragged sockets. Lots of charm in this design! Sinister and cool looking, but definitely also a bit cartoonish and endearing.
Witch's Pet Frog
An otherwise ordinary animatronic witch was holding this little basket with a plastic toad in it. A plastic toad so adorable, they really should have made this available as its own separate decoration or prop!
Skeleton Gator
They have kind of a makeshift swamp theme going on this year, though it's subtle. The "bog monster," the babysitter, and the witch with the frog are all meant to be a part of it, and so are these small skeleton crocodiles wit oddly scaly-textured, green-tinged bones.
Scary Babysitter
This more normal-size character is kind of a counterpart to the pumpkin-headed children they released last year. She's a "babysitter" holding a rag doll like it's a child, she's got a grimy old dress and her head is a snarling, red-eyed burlap bag with pigtails, like she's also some kind of scarecrow creature, or something!
As fun as this character is however, I was QUITE EXCITED by what we can see in the lower left of this photo. I couldn't find it anywhere on Home Depot's website, but once our nearest store finished putting out their seasonal goods, there it was...
THE SKELETON. COCKROACH!!!
2023 is the year that keeps on giving! Skeletons I mean! The year that keeps on giving skeletons! I literally always hoped we'd see a cockroach skeleton creature! Surprising, I know! Between this, the skeleton moth and the skeleton snail I almost could not possibly be happier with this year's Halloween output!
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