The Ongoing Terror of "Simulation Chocolate Gadgets Scary Toys"
How foolish it was for you to believe you were safe from the forces of darkness. You may thank (or curse) Alisha Pearlson for providing additional pictographic proof of things we now so woefully know to haunt our tainted world.
EXECRABLE SERPENT-MEN
There they were, the wretches I had seen but in picture-paper, more nauseating in the breathing flesh than could ever be captured by man's crude flash-bulbs, and in an unforseen abundance!
RANCOROUS SIMIAN
Flanked by its entourage of squamatous obscenities, the rumored ape-thing caterwauled with mindless abandon.
OBJECTIONABLE MOLLUSK
All at once a thing of flesh and of vapor, a clutching shape one moment and a fluid shadow the next. I have heard that men of some nationalities recognize the cephalopodes as a viable meal. Barbaric indeed.
REPELLENT WASTREL
Shuddering and pallid, more jelly than child, I was relieved to see the thing floundering alone; it would have been all the more disquieting to contemplate the manner of fiend that would not have mercifully forsaken such a thing.
UNSIGHTLY RODENTOID
I had seen one once before, the horrid foetal mockery of animal life that suckles from household vermin. How I wished I had thought to bring a noble feline on my expedition, the only respectable beast of God's grotesque menagerie.
ENIGMATIC PROGENY
There was nothing outwardly abnormal about the boy, save that it had hidden itself in the bosom of what had previously appeared to be a mere dessert. By now, of course, I knew to expect the uncanny from these mock-confections, but I found the presence of something so mundane to be all the more worrisome.
UNSCRUPULOUS WRAITH
The foreboding figure followed us for some time, as though curious about our activities, but soon grew mercifully bored when I continuously refused to indulge its juvenile request for apples. To think, it expected a sophisticated man to carry fruit upon his person!! Ridiculous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FLAGITIOUS GUTTERSNIPE
Soft and clammy as unbaked dough, the pseudo-hominoid gibbered and mewled from the gaping, wet maw that was its only facial feature.
BANEFUL CUR
In my travels I had seen a most miserable make of canine, squat and rugose as grandmother's hogs. It was said that its stunted muzzle was a desirable trait, appealingly more "human." Perhaps this foul chimera, then, would have been the envy of such heartless breeders.
BARBARIC LOPER
Neither bird nor beast, it bounded upon powerful legs but bore no other noticeable limbs. I shuddered to remember the godless obscenities of nature that were grandmother's cassowaries.
UNSEEMLY URCHIN
Be wary of these...thing...they're opposite of the Lopers in every regard; sluggish, legless, humanlike rather than animaloid. Most menacing of all is the fashion in which, as observed by my compatriots, they Wobble but they Don't Fall Down.
MISSHAPEN MONGREL
Not unlike the man-mutt that had wheezed and scuttled into recent memory, but of even more warped frame. Could it fathom, even, the cruelty of its own existence, or was it so arrogant as to view us with as much revulsion in turn?
VITIATED POLYP
An oozing knot of protruberances undulated before our eyes, a careless aggregation of flagellae that would be shapeless if not for its feeble attempt at developing that laughable, frog-like craniation.
DISSOLUTE RODENTOID
Blasphemous enough are the brown-furred devils that violate my garden bird feeder. I can say at the very least that I appreciate the openness with which this one bears its ugly soul upon its external visage.
FOREIGNERS
Realization dawned upon my already savaged psyche with a terror indescribable, and at last I fled. I pray that I am wrong, but my last, battered vestiges of rational thought cannot deny it...
If these interlopers originated externally to not only our Heavenly globe.....then I dare posit, perhaps, that they may not have have lawfully laid foot upon our very nation.
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