ENTRY 22: SHROUDSTOMPER
Oh my god...I love this SO much, and I immediately recognized exactly what was referenced here. I feel like almost 100% of people who will ever read this already know what the Fresno Nightcrawler is, but if you're one of the lucky few who have yet to know the hilarity of this celebrated "cryptid" hoax, it was literally just a pair of pants on a string:
Shroudstomper is 5/5, so it's bigger than average, but it also has Deathtouch, so nothing of any size survives an encounter with it if it doesn't also have deathtouch. It also automatically does 2 damage to every opponent every time it enters the game or attacks, regardless of whether it gets blocked, and you also happen to gain 2 life and draw a card as a little bonus. I like the flavor text, with a survivor complaining that its worse to get killed by the "walkers" because they "don't even notice." Is that really true, though? Even with several other stompers looming in the distance, I feel like there's plenty of room in this scene for people to have gotten out of their way, and yet we've got two poor fools perfectly stompitized as we speak. Seems like fairly precise aim if you ask me, but then, maybe a shroudstomper's legs go where the food is without any conscious direction from whatever little brain rattles around in its sheet-ghost head, or maybe the vacuum-like suction of the legs is simply that strong?
