BOO-GLEECH

Written by Jonathan Wojcik

Nightmare Beings V

Gosh, did you think we were done? Just because we're running three weeks into the new year? These will be my last five Nightmare Monsters for the season, but we still have a few more yet to come by a couple of other artists!

BIKE BIRD

This is one of the nightmares I meant to draw and review last year and didn't find the time, but the visual has stuck with me ever since. There's something very simplistically dreadful about the thought of this intensely staring, distorted Big Bird just...riding. Riding in a straight line, staring, searching, watching, maybe not for anything in particular, but it never stops. Eugh. Why is that SO creepy. So much creepier than it has any right to be.

NIGHTMARE MUPPET

I don't think I really captured how surreal this guy must have looked, but maybe I at least got the gist of it down. I can so easily sea it in my mind, and hear the awful LOO LOO LOO LOO LOO, too. I really enjoy the recurring phenomenon of nightmare beings who emit comical, repetitive sounds that shouldn't even be as frightening as they are. There was my own Hit-me-hit-me-hit-me, last year's AGOOGEEGEE and innumerable others. A ridiculous cry seems to be a nightmare-being signature move.

THE MILK TRUCK

This dream makes an absolutely bonkers scary story. What the hell is this thing. Why. What's going on. There are people who think it's boring to hear about other people's dreams just because they make inherently no sense and have no answers, but I never get sick of the ones that imply a deeper narrative behind their madness.

PEEK

I doubt I got this one even remotely right - I get the impression it was supposed to have an almost perfectly human body, and covered porcupine-thick in quills - but when you say "maybe made of metal or maybe made of wood" I can't help seeing a gnarled, driftwood-like grimy figure.

This is one of those nightmare creatures that are just plain cool more than wacky or disturbing, especially the rocket spines! Spine-launching is one of my favorite monster powers, up there with acid breath and symbiotic bugs.

BIG SEAN

It's a little challenging to visualize this one, but I know exactly the kind of head being described here...and its alternate, mobile head is only made creepier by its absurdity. Does BIG SEAN have any real connection to Sean Connery, other than the face and the name? Seems awfully convenient. What's Connery been hiding from us?

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