Written by Jonathan Wojcik reviews every one of the Topps Ugly Stickers monsters! All scans come courtesy David Paul and his website, Bubble Gum Cards. Artwork copyright Topps.

   Ugly #12 is the most tantalizing of the head shots, since those multiple stalks are unlikely to connect to a humanoid body. Maybe they just keep going. I could definitely see this one walking around on a bunch of octopus-like tentacles. What really completes this one, though, is the slicked little hairstyle.

   #13 is a simple cyclops, but the proportions of its eyeball are fairly impressive. You thought his lower eyelid was a nose at first glance, didn't you? Just you try to un-see it, it's impossible.

   The vaguely insect-like #14 seems like the most docile Ugly, or maybe we're just catching a ravenous nightmare beast in a rare moment of contentment. Maybe it's in love. What would one of these clowns be in love with? Maybe some sort of disease.

   My love of #15 almost matches that of #3, and in fact, this is quite possibly my favorite design ever given to an eyeball-centric monster, which you know is a pretty bold statement on my part. The thick cilia and multiple mouths lining its worm-like arms are a gorgeous combination of features, and I like how hard it is to figure out what it would even look like from any other angle. It has at least one more appendage back there.

Three out of #15's four possible names are female. Hello, ladies!

   #16 might have the most coldly alien visage of the original Uglies, just a bulbous, menacing brain-owl-bug-face wobbling atop a creeping reptilian body. This one truly belongs on the cover to some 50's horror comic. My favorite detail is that weird facial cavity with the red "teeth"...perhaps its body can contract up into its head?

   #17 is just sort of a dense sphere with many peculiar protruberances; bug hairs, insect legs, multiple tongues (but only one protruding from an actual mouth) and curious, tubular projections housing branched, slimy tendrils, probably some sort of alien sensory organ...or maybe they serve a reproductive function. This thing could be mating right now and we probably couldn't tell.

   #18 is a simple "rearranged face" Wolverton design, but a pretty cute one. The wrinkles have an odd, unnatural look to them that I think helps this guy to stand out a bit more. The little line of drool is a nice touch.

   #19 is one of those few Wolverton uglies with a full "body," but still bears little more than a head, which is mostly nose. At least a few of the others probably also terminate in only a huge hand or foot.

   #20 seems to be patterned after a shoe, with its skull busted open and its brainless, exposed stem apparently wriggling. Cover your shame, #20! There are children present!

While this is only another head with an off-camera body, I can't help interpreting the neck as a stiletto heel. Even I would walk in heels if they were also broken monster heads.

   #21 has a simply wonderful face. I love that lopsided, gaping maw and fleshy hoses holding its eyeballs to its tiny cranium. Sticking that atop a shrunken bug-legged body was a marvelous decision.

   Charmingly, #22 has what can be either an overbite or even more hilarious underbite whether it rests upon its conflictingly positioned hands or feet.

   I think I prefer this angle. There's something a whole lot cuter and more hilarious about this grumpier inversion.


Uglies 2
Uglies 2
Uglies 3
Uglies 4
Ugly Faces 1
Ugly Faces 2
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