Written by Jonathan Wojcik


With Artwork by Bobipineman!

Monsters and villains from your freakiest dreams!


Bobipineman illustrated so many nightmares that they preferred them split up between two pages, and just submitted the very last - from a dream of their own, described thusly: "My sister and me were building golems with some blue adhesive putty. Mine did look like a kind of featureless "bunny" with 2 stump for leg and 2 very big and long ears a bit like a pol voice from the legend of zelda mixed with the ridley chick from metroid other M. I named it slave. A lot later we refound it but it was different. It did steal all the door knob to glue them on him. It was like a big mass of silver ball with a metallic button eye with red pupil. It was standing on his tiny leg with a very long arm and a lot smaller one..."

I really love this concept of a little bunny-like blob-golem that can build onto itself. The fact that "Slave" collects mostly doorknobs to construct a larger body is especially unique, and I can easily see this being as a video game boss - losing more and more of its knobs as it's worn back down into the harmless but speedy little hopping glob!


Looking almost like a distant cousin to the Princess's "dog" on our last page, this thing really feels like some sort of misplaced vehicle from another world. It's another dream that doesn't really qualify as a "nightmare," of course...unless, somewhere out there, a giant eyeball-headed bear just woke up from a terrible nightmare in which some sort of tiny biped grabbed its feelers and hijacked its entire body.


I still insist this is exactly an actual goat.


There's a lot of fun things about Belias, but it's his personality that really makes this dream stick out. He sounds like somebody just trying to do his job and getting just a little tired of it all. I also think he was definitely bluffing, and the dream definitely ended because hiding in a bathroom and calling his bluff was the secret solution to his "game" all along.

That's actually kind of sad, Belias.


This is one of the longest of the year, but once you read it, you'll know why I couldn't have cut it any shorter...