Written by Jonathan Wojcik
NIGHTMARE BEINGS 2016: Part IX
With Artwork by Myself Again
Monsters and villains from your creepiest dreams!NEON LEGS
The interesting thing about some dreams, I think, is that they tell us how we would really react to the unexplainable, assuming you don't actually know you're dreaming. In a movie, someone would only act cool, maybe incredulous to a neon pair of laughing, Seussian legs, especially if all they do is pace back and forth.
In reality, I think most people would completely and utterly lose their shit on the spot.
A HAT
Every single thing about this dream is a work of art. The unexplained importance of hats, the fact that this being actually IS a hat, the word "unhatly," the speak-and-spell voice, the dialog, I just can't pick a favorite detail. It's not a nightmare, of course, unless you're a fedora, and fortunately, no fedoras are reading this because all of them were eaten by dogs that one time. Thank you, dogs.
Mister Greeeeeeeeeeeeen
This is a dream by a real-world friend of ours, and I'm not sure I've drawn Mr. Green correctly - not even according to the visual I really have in my head - but whatever he really looks like, I feel like I already have my own crystal clear memory of his voice, and I don't even know why.
Sewer Polyps
This is another one from someone we really hang out with, and he first told me about this dream when we were talking about tubifex worms in the sewers, which I've heard some sewage workers refer to as "shit urchins." I can't remember where I heard that, but if it's not really true, it should be.
The progression of this dream also sounds like another amazing video game scenario.
THE GREASECLOWN
Even without that body-horror climax, the Grease Clown would already be one of the most upsetting things you could ever possibly find at the end of a decrepit maze filled with horrible, toxic hairballs. I think this might be a contender for the most frightening of the year, up there with the "Sasquatch" and Mr. Oogle.
NOT YOUR GRANDMOTHER
I love this one. I've taken some liberties with the description, but the simplicity of a long, black stalk with one tooth is exceptionally cool to me, and its whole "I could be your grandma" routine is just fabulously warped, a classic for the ages.
FORGIVE!!!!!
For once, I'm actually at a loss for words.
And one last guest artist submission...
DeKaFu's half-faced glider was the second most popular monster this year after Mr. Oogle, and artist Horsepaint sent in what might be its most vivid and unsettling depiction.
...And with that, a week into 2017, Bogleech.com's 2016 Halloween season has come to a close. Halloween will return, as always, August 1st...only about seven months away!
Will I bring back Nightmare Beings again this year? I'm not so sure I will in quite the same format. It's grown exponentially since I introduced it, and might just be getting a little too big for its britches. We'll see how things go!
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